How Much Baggage is too Much Baggage?

* How much baggage is too much? Our baggage-handling ability varies. As Boomers, we've had lots of time to collect baggage. But many of us haven't learned how to downsize our baggage or recognize it in a potential partner.

* We all have baggage—some well packed, some nicely folded and some that should have been sent to Good Will. Oh the stories I’ve heard from men who’ve run into women with un- or hastily packed baggage. Some carry unwieldy suitcases hindering closeness. Others strew their stuff, tripping up new relationships.

* We’ve proudly battled everything life has thrown at us so far; gladly shouldering our share of mistakes and misdeeds. We’ve suffered, learned, laughed, cried, rejoiced. We’re damaged goods complete with ‘extenuating circumstances’. You get us ‘as is’, baggage and all.

* Baggage takes many forms: personality flaws; errant children; ghastly pasts; despicable exs; unclear, unreasonable expectations; unfinished business; previous deceptions; and lurking health or financial issues.

* Discover baggage ASAP while you’re able to detect and determine amount, size, weight and how much you will be expected to help carry. Then decide if you are strong enough. The law of attraction claims we attract people similar to us. If we come from an abusive background, are emotionally unhealthy, have intimacy problems or haven’t successfully worked through our ‘baggage’; we tend to attract like-kinds. No better reason to clean-up your act.

* Use the 90-Days Ground Rule #1 to go dumpster diving—sorting through the garbage.

For the first two months of our relationship, Mr. Arizona and I enjoyed traveling 13,000 miles throughout the U.S. in his motor home. We’d had fun sightseeing and getting to know each other. We got along so well, we decided to cohabitate at his Arizona home.
Before we were unpacked, his mistress—an intense, exclusive relationship with his computer—emerged. He saw absolutely nothing wrong with playing video games ten or more hours a day, every day; and he would not consider any changes. I viewed it as baggage, an addiction that killed any chance of a relationship. With me. Within 90-Days, be on guard for baggage that is a deal breaker (DB) for U. If you find your reality check bounced, the promissory notes got returned for insufficient funds or the relationship has no traction; ixnay I say.

* Baggage is discussed in depth in my book (check out pages 296-303).