The Wistfulness of Boomers

This phenomena of wistfulness is mentioned briefly in my book: “Boomers suffer from a pervasive feeling of ‘persistent wistfulness’. Searching. For meaning. A purpose. A reason for living. Longing for an unfulfilled need. A desire for ‘one final fling’. For one last chance to satisfy that craving.”

Wistful can be defined as a pervasive yearning and feeling a prolonged melancholy for something not acquired, not experienced. This ‘label’ may feel sad and too pensive, too pessimistic and the immediate temptation is to pooh-pooh its existence in our lives. Before you disregard this feeling in yourself, consider that it may be the harbinger of change, of positive action.

There is no avoiding wistfulness, as it comes with the territory. My favorite poem, Robert Frost’s, The Road Not Taken expounds on 'there is no reverse in life' with a situation that we've all faced (consciously or not) in our lives, “Two roads diverged in a yellow wood, And sorry I could not travel both and be one traveler, long I stood…Oh, I kept the first for another day! Yet knowing how way leads on to way, I doubted if I should ever come back. I shall be telling this with a sigh somewhere ages and ages hence: Two roads diverged in a wood, and I— I took the one less traveled by, and that has made all the difference.”As Boomers, we have already gone down that road taken.

We have a very short supply of EVERYTHING: time, hope, options, healthy days.

Frost knows that we can’t go back and take the first road. But we can still feel wistful and regret. Our choice is to either harness its energy or buckle under to its weight.

Of course if you are suffering from nostalgia for something past, there aren’t any antidotes.
If you feel a desire, an unsatisfied longing for something better than the present situation, something not yet lived; there is hope. The key word here is ‘live’. You are in the drivers seat. Whose name is going 2 b on your headstone? Take charge of that person’s life force while it is still possible.

U might remember a T. S. Eliot’s poem from our high school lit class, The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock in which he finds himself closer to the end than the beginning: “It was a soft October night”. Is that not where we Boomers find ourselves in the relative scheme of life? Three-quarters through our allotted time on earth has passed. He ponders what he’s done and what he could do. At first he is hopeful, “There will be time, there will be time for you and time for me, and time yet for a hundred indecisions, and for a hundred visions and revisions.”

Then he remembers how he has lived his life so far, “I have measured out my life with coffee spoons” But then: “And indeed there will be time to wonder, ‘Do I dare?’ and Time to turn back and descend the stair.” He questions whether he has it in him and if, indeed, there really is time, “Do I dare disturb the universe? In a minute there is time for decisions and revisions which a minute will reverse.” He wonders if he’ll “Have the strength to force the moment to its crisis? (…) I have seen the eternal Footman hold my coat, and snicker, and in short, I was afraid.”
It’s open to interpretation, but my reading is that he caves into his previous way of life.

It’s easy to say we will do something different, witnessed in the popular poem, When I Am Old I Will Wear Purple. Will she? Some doubt it. It is not easy to change, to buck the Juggernaut tidal wave of wistful. Discontentment with the present situation can be a strong motivator for change if we resist. If we don’t let it drown us in drink or denial or inertia, or hopelessness.
It takes just as much energy to become a champion channel changer, grumbler, or resister.

If U have a hankering or a yearning to get or do something you’ve not yet done, write it on your Bucket List and start figuring out what it takes to get started. If you are SoulMate-less and haven’t looked, Just Do It! If you’ve searched and have not yet succeeded, change something and get off your duff. Those who don’t buy lottery tickets have zero chance to cash in.
What have u got to lose? What is the worse case scenario? Think about how the best case scenario looks, feels? What would U b doing now if U had that special someone?

An 80-year old woman wrote in a recent Ask Amy column that she’d been married twice and never felt giddy ‘in love’ until she recently met her third husband. It’s never too late, she reminds us. Do U have the guts, the courage, or the audaciousness? U have the time. Do U feel entitled to happiness, to round three? There is an expert to answer that question. Consult the Avatar of that engraved name on the marble headstone.

Go as far as you can see. When you get there you will be able to see further. ~Thomas Carlyle