Unexpected Gifts...
Thwarted & Realized Dreams
I know that Nashville is under water. I know the Dow Jones dropped 1,000 pts in mere minutes. I know Tiger and Phil, the thrill, almost missed the cut at the Players. I know terrorists are still plotting our demise. Of course I know it’s Mother’s Day weekend. I’ve been working in a florist shop on that holiday for years. I live that weekend like few get to—basking in the joy of picking out, arranging and selling those tributes even b 4 the Mother’s even lay eyes on their gifts. Lucky me.
This missive is not about Mother’s. It is about mother’s and fathers. It’s about those of us who have learned that most our Bucket Lists can still b realized at any age, with ‘conditions’. We’re not surprised, are we? Life has always not only been unfair, but ‘with conditions’. Alas, many of us never learn this lesson. It comes right after auguring thru the years and suffering infinite blows of disilusionment. If we’re still standing and still interested in growing, we get to ‘work on’ that predicament.
This is about those of us who still tilt at windmills and refuse to let the ugliness of life intrude on our consciousness. We still have a chance at a second and third version of our lives. Many of us, by this age, have suffered unknowable tragedies—losing a child, a chance, a parent, a limb, a home, our retirement, our mind or our health. Yes, life is, ultimately, about loss. Even these unfortunate souls can get to the brink of ‘next’—making them luckier than those of us who have not had to surmount the highest mountains and still find a way to face the next day.
I’m also including those of us who make our own mountains out of generally invisible molehills. We have seen the enemy, and we face it in the mirror. It reflects those of us who lament real or manufactured faults to the point of inaction: "I’m too [fill in the blank—fat, stupid, poor, tired…]" or "I don’t have enough […money, love, support, advantage, friends…]." It's just as paralyzing.
Some of us, after experiencing the vicissitudes of life, have, throughout our lives, altered our Bucket List. After several broken ankles, a torn hamstring, an ACL blown, a broken leg, a bad left knee and right hip, I’ve crossed off an item from my list written in my early 20’s: “jump out of a perfectly good airplane’. Thirty-five years ago when RAGBRAI, the bike ride across Iowa, was created, I added it to my list. Life, as it tends to do with our plans, got in the way. This year I’m planning on accomplishing that feat, altered somewhat given my present condition. I’ll do 3 of the 7 days, therefore accomplishing my goal, given current conditions.
If conditionally is a negative word in your vocabulary, GET OVER IT! It’s a matter of one of the themes of my book—the dreaded Change. A perfect illustration? Think of a world class long distant runner who loses his legs in an accident. The one who now competitively competes in marathons in his (wheel) chair. Think about it. Are U tough enf, persistent enf, resourceful enf, flexible enf to pursue your dreams ‘in altered conditions’?
Another theme in my book is that ‘it’s never too late’; but b mindful that although we have arrived at the moment when ‘our toes curl over the edge of our grave’, we are still on the sunny top side of the grass.
And, all together class: 'We still have options!'
Unlike 56 yr old mud engineer, Keith Manuel, who does no longer. Divorced father of 3 grown daughters had plans to be married next month. Unfortunately, he was one of the eleven rig worker souls lost in the explosion in the Gulf of Mexico--uxenexpected and unwanted dreams thwarted.
Yet, the hills are live with music, even for Julie Andrews, who underwent a botched surgery on her voice box in 1997 and was told that she would ‘never sing again’. Not only a loss for her --her livelihood, her gift, her self-image--but also loss for her past and potential audience. Tonight she will mount a stage in Londo and sing again for the first time in 30 years! With a caveat to her listeners to lower their expectations: “Please don’t expect me to sound like before,” she warned.
Did she play potato bug and curl mutely into a fetal position? No way. After processing her grief, she went on to become a writer, an actress with speaking roles and Dame Andrews. And after tonight, she’ll have become the new songster Julie Andrews, having accomplished her goal, conditionally.
Unlike 56 yr old mud engineer, Keith Manuel, who does no longer. Divorced father of 3 grown daughters had plans to be married next month. Unfortunately, he was one of the eleven rig worker souls lost in the explosion in the Gulf of Mexico--uxenexpected and unwanted dreams thwarted.
Yet, the hills are live with music, even for Julie Andrews, who underwent a botched surgery on her voice box in 1997 and was told that she would ‘never sing again’. Not only a loss for her --her livelihood, her gift, her self-image--but also loss for her past and potential audience. Tonight she will mount a stage in Londo and sing again for the first time in 30 years! With a caveat to her listeners to lower their expectations: “Please don’t expect me to sound like before,” she warned.
Did she play potato bug and curl mutely into a fetal position? No way. After processing her grief, she went on to become a writer, an actress with speaking roles and Dame Andrews. And after tonight, she’ll have become the new songster Julie Andrews, having accomplished her goal, conditionally.
Life is a tenuous, evanescent, fragile gift. What are U doing, thinking today?
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